Tara Fela-Durotoye, founder House of Tara International, has revealed how she dealt with un-forgiveness towards her friends when her husband, Fela Dur
Tara Fela-Durotoye, founder House of Tara International, has revealed how she dealt with un-forgiveness towards her friends when her husband, Fela Durotoye, a business consultant, leadership expert, and motivational speaker, ran for the presidential office in 2019 as well as he she over came the friction between herself and her husband during the said period.
She opened up to Betty Irabor in an episode ‘Life Lessons’. In the interview, Tara showed her vulnerable side as she also opened up about the online bullying, and betrayal from close friends, that she and her husband faced during that period and how it affected them.
Tara admitted that she had too many experiences that left her in tears, sad, and burdened. She said that during that period, she got feedback of the horrible things close friends she expected support from were saying and it was traumatic. She struggled with forgiving them for a year and had to see a life coach about it afterward. She also narrated the unique exercise the coach suggested to help her forgive those friends who betrayed her.
Tara also addressed the online bullying she was subjected to. She narrated how she snapped at an Instagram user during a Live video when he made an inappropriate comment. Explaining how the online bullying affected her, she said: “I shut down unconsciously because I was now feeling judged. If it was bad for me, it was worse for my husband and it troubled me that he had to go through that.”
Tara also explained how the presidential campaign affected her relationship with her husband and what was done to fix it. She admitted that at the very beginning of the political campaign, she felt angry with Fela Durotoye for exposing her to trolls. She said she became aggressive, snappy and started acting out of character.
“In this situation, I found out I was getting angry with him for no reason,” she recalled.
She explained how she handled the situation to prevent it from getting out of hand. She said the experience has now made them stronger together and more in love.
The businesswoman also opened up about their lives post-election. She said that months after the election, Fela went into a dispassionate phase and she had to intervene. She said she finally accepted that, though they were passionate about creating a better Nigeria, they couldn’t force Nigerians to accept what they were giving.
“Nigeria is not ready for what we wanted to bring,” she said, adding, “And as long as Nigeria is not ready, we cannot force it.”
Sharing the biggest lesson she learnt from the experience, Tara said: “If you’re married to someone who is passionate about whatever it is they’re passionate about, stand with them, support them, but it’s going to be a true test of how deep and grounded your relationship is. So my advice to people who are married… In this time, before you have those hard moments, spend time in developing trust, compassion for one another, deep love for one another…”
